I think the word you were looking for (with about 20 mins left to go) is Delight. Teens/young adults want someone to delight in them. My "agenda" shifted to whatever time I have with my daughter, I will delight in her. I cannot control her future, but I have some control over her wanting me in it. I am blessed right now to spend some time with my 19 year old every day. I can't worry about tomorrow.
I'll bet you're right about the word I was reaching for--I think I found it in Rose and my most recent conversation coming out on Sunday. It's hard to delight in our kids when we're hanging out in a scary future instead of being present!
You talked about how people, ie our society, are socialized to "cure" pain with medication. The point I'm going to make is a hard one becuase I have several friends and family who rely on anti-depressants to live productive lives, but I think anti-depressants are in general over-subscribed. I went through a deep, long lasting (and un-medicalized) depression in my late 30's and there was a reason for it, and there was no way for me to avoid it, but to sit with it -- ie to go through it -- to come to terms with the realities of what I had done to myself and other people in my 20' and 30's. And when I finally came out of that depression I was a different person and a stronger person. I think alot of people resort to anti-depressants becuase they feel the necessity, or the pressure, to continue functioning at a specific level.
Later in the podcast you speak of danger in regards to Trans Identified young people. Instead of speaking of "danger" in regard to our medicalized kids, might it be more accurate to speak of damage? Damage to their physical health?
Thank you so much for this comment! I appreciate the care with which you speak about medicating our pain, and I want to take a moment to respond to your comments. You mention those you know "who rely on anti-depressants to live productive lives" and I think I agree with your understanding. I believe this is a logical approach to the world we live in and have much compassion for those who find this to be the best option available to them. Being able to hold this truth alongside the transforming experience you had with your own depression is I believe this world needs more of.
I can also tell you have (and I share) an appreciation of precise language. You might notice that I often struggle to find the right word or phrase during these conversations. This is why I love writing! It helps me to process and communicate more clearly. I see and honor your deep investment in the experience of the listener and am very grateful that you share your thoughts in the comments and give me the opportunity to respond in kind. <prayer hands>
It means alot to me that you read my thoughts and responded!
Yes, I try to bring clarity to my writing, which could be a kind of precision. And it is true, I've found a way to hold both the knowledge that some people need anti-depressants and get healthier with them, as well as the knowledge that in a different world with different cultural norms around psychological medications, its probable that more people would move through and past depression without medication.
The stakes are much higher and more serious with GA medical treatments but it seems what you often communicate is the possibility of finding a way to hold two opposing truths alongside one another. I don't know if I'll ever get there, but life is long. <3 (that's a heart, I think....)
I believe we've all got our "curriculum of the soul" and it sure sounds like you're doing yours (rather than resisting it.) We're all the projects of a lifetime. <3
I think the word you were looking for (with about 20 mins left to go) is Delight. Teens/young adults want someone to delight in them. My "agenda" shifted to whatever time I have with my daughter, I will delight in her. I cannot control her future, but I have some control over her wanting me in it. I am blessed right now to spend some time with my 19 year old every day. I can't worry about tomorrow.
I'll bet you're right about the word I was reaching for--I think I found it in Rose and my most recent conversation coming out on Sunday. It's hard to delight in our kids when we're hanging out in a scary future instead of being present!
Another real truth-telling podcast.
Thank you, Regina and Stoic Mom.
You talked about how people, ie our society, are socialized to "cure" pain with medication. The point I'm going to make is a hard one becuase I have several friends and family who rely on anti-depressants to live productive lives, but I think anti-depressants are in general over-subscribed. I went through a deep, long lasting (and un-medicalized) depression in my late 30's and there was a reason for it, and there was no way for me to avoid it, but to sit with it -- ie to go through it -- to come to terms with the realities of what I had done to myself and other people in my 20' and 30's. And when I finally came out of that depression I was a different person and a stronger person. I think alot of people resort to anti-depressants becuase they feel the necessity, or the pressure, to continue functioning at a specific level.
Later in the podcast you speak of danger in regards to Trans Identified young people. Instead of speaking of "danger" in regard to our medicalized kids, might it be more accurate to speak of damage? Damage to their physical health?
Thank you so much for this comment! I appreciate the care with which you speak about medicating our pain, and I want to take a moment to respond to your comments. You mention those you know "who rely on anti-depressants to live productive lives" and I think I agree with your understanding. I believe this is a logical approach to the world we live in and have much compassion for those who find this to be the best option available to them. Being able to hold this truth alongside the transforming experience you had with your own depression is I believe this world needs more of.
I can also tell you have (and I share) an appreciation of precise language. You might notice that I often struggle to find the right word or phrase during these conversations. This is why I love writing! It helps me to process and communicate more clearly. I see and honor your deep investment in the experience of the listener and am very grateful that you share your thoughts in the comments and give me the opportunity to respond in kind. <prayer hands>
It means alot to me that you read my thoughts and responded!
Yes, I try to bring clarity to my writing, which could be a kind of precision. And it is true, I've found a way to hold both the knowledge that some people need anti-depressants and get healthier with them, as well as the knowledge that in a different world with different cultural norms around psychological medications, its probable that more people would move through and past depression without medication.
The stakes are much higher and more serious with GA medical treatments but it seems what you often communicate is the possibility of finding a way to hold two opposing truths alongside one another. I don't know if I'll ever get there, but life is long. <3 (that's a heart, I think....)
I believe we've all got our "curriculum of the soul" and it sure sounds like you're doing yours (rather than resisting it.) We're all the projects of a lifetime. <3
Very challenging to look at my stance and how it affects the dynamic. The questioning with an agenda. Hard work and rewarding.
Hard work and rewarding--amen to that!